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2006 04 21
An Open Letter to the City of Toronto.
Dear Toronto,
despite your indifference to me, I have flirted with you for years and I would like to make clear my intentions. I have been accused of taking you for granted. To this I admit but to be honest, sometimes you haven't been the nicest of hosts. Sometimes you're like a little kid dressed up as a "Big City" - just pretending in a polystyrene mask and paper cape. While other times you are the belle of the ball, unable to stop yourself from staring at your reflection in the Lake. Then there's your temper. You throw a hissy fit and shots are heard, knives are drawn and horns blare.

Still, your many suitors continue to come to your door. I remember when we first met (I told myself I wouldn't cry. I will not cry, dammit!), I tumbled from your bars, danced in your lights (do you remember how we danced?) and soaked in your strangeness.

But now, T-dot, as I know you like to be called, I find myself feeling sorry for you. You've grown so fast, it's easy to put on a little weight here and there. T-doe (you don't mind if I call you, T-doe, do you?), where is your self-respect? Yours street cars are all bunched up, your height restrictions are shot to Hell, and your shoreline? I've seen clotheslines with a better plan. I know you're trying to change and you don't have to change for me (please, don't laugh, your false teeth may drop out). I know this "cultural revolution" will be your "Summer of T" (you don't mind if I call you 'T' do you?) and it may just be the Botox you need. Dr. Phil says change comes from within. Then again, what does he know? Has he ever tried retail therapy like we have? I shouldn't be so critical of you. Remember the saying, if you can't say something nice - start a blog.

I guess all I really wanted to say is, you'll never be my hometown, but you are definitely the town I call home.

Yours regardless,

With apologies to Mr. T. McSweeney
[email this story] Posted by P. Rogers on 04/21 at 07:50 AM

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